Yaboh Donaldia Emmanuella Koumassou 

ESL 100 CE  

September 19, 2021  

Draft 2 

Lost in the Desert 

I feel like I am lost in the Sahara without any GPS. I get annoyed each time I think about my daily life in the United States. If I were rich, I would travel to my country, Benin, every three months just to go spend time with my parents and my brothers. I come from Dandji, which is a small town in Benin. The weather is always beautiful, so everybody is outside all the time. Since I moved to the U.S, I have missed my free weekends, the way I used to catch up with my neighbors and sing or discuss with my brothers while doing my laundry or cooking. I always enjoyed my Sundays by doing things that I like to do, but I don’t enjoy it anymore. I mean there is no free day for me in my schedule in Chicago. Chicago is a big city compared to small Dandji, but I really miss the things that people do in the small town. It is hard for me to familiarize myself with this new lifestyle. 

One of my favorite things to do is to sit outside and chat with people passing by or with friends. It is quite common in my hometown to be outside just to catch up with people, family, or to invite people over, so everyone will hear the current information. In Chicago, there is nothing like that because many people are busy most of the time. The only people available are old people who, annoyed to stay inside, come out to get some fresh air. On Sundays, when I try to look outside just to check if our neighbors would surprise me, I just felt a quiet wind blowing in my ears. It is just unbelievable how social activities are minimized in the street where I live in Chicago. In my hometown, talking with people or with my brothers helps me to lose stress, but in my house in Chicago, my family members and I only meet at night after work to exchange some words. It does not satisfy me that much. Also, in  Dandji, when I walk to the store to get something, I almost know everybody that is passing, and I can ask about them, how they are doing. In the morning, I used to go buy bread down the street and it is the opportunity to ask the vendor if she is doing well. However, I need some privacy sometimes, so I just sit at the door with my air pods in my ears, listening to music and just waving my hand at people passing by. It helps to have some time for oneself. 

In addition, I used to love singing in the church choir. Every Wednesday and Saturday afternoon, the church choir has rehearsal, and it is the moment for my friends and I to see each other after school. There are many choirs at the church, yet I belonged to the youth choir. I also taught songs because I was one of the heads of the choir. On working days, I focused on my studies, and the house stuff that I have to do, so I did not missed going to the rehearsal to do what I love, sing. I am incredibly sad to notice that in the Catholic Church that I frequent in Chicago, only adults and old people belong to the choir. The first Sunday I went to that church, I was impatient to meet with their choir, but I was discouraged when I saw only old ladies singing. The songs were also slow. I immediately knew that there was no more choir for me to think about, so I must forget about it for now. In addition, the church is twenty-five minutes from my house, and I am not used to taking the bus. I always follow my grandmother, so if she decides not to go this Sunday, I must forget it too, because she is the one that drives the car. However, in Dandji, my house is four minutes from the community church, and there is Catholic church at almost every two intersections. I can just walk to church anytime I want, and the church is always open. I understand that every church has its own rules. 

Moreover, in my hometown, finding something to eat is not a problem at all. There are plenty of food vendors everywhere and they are close to people's houses. Africans like to cook a lot, and there are many house-women in  Dandji. Many of them choose selling food as their activities, so they can care for those activities, and at the same time take care of their houses. In Chicago, there are many places like restaurants, Starbucks, Dominos everywhere, but sometimes far from houses, and African foods are hard to find. In my hometown, I used to eat corn dough with okra sauce and there is a vendor just in front of my house, so when I don’t feel like cooking, I just go there to buy it. It is not even expensive, but here in Chicago, I must cook for myself if I want African food, and I must order and pay for the delivery if I want something else. I realized that many people living in Chicago eat a lot of food from restaurants. However, I usually go to restaurants only for occasional situations like birthdays or anniversaries. One day, in Benin, I went to an international restaurant in the city with my mum and my brothers, and on our way back, I brought a takeaway for my father. He was angry because the food did not taste as well as what he usually buys from the street vendors, and it was a little be expensive. I understood his feelings, so I still long for my hometown street foods. 

Chicago is a wonderful place, but my hometown allowed me to get to know people in my town, to do church activities and to buy any food I want. However, I am missing the community activities of my hometown. I have also forgotten how to manage my time and my schedule between work and relaxing. I feel like I am under pressure. I have tried before to do things the way I used to, but it does not work. I don’t have any more free weekends or choir rehearsals to sing. I believe that I will continue to miss all these things because they are so wonderful, but I cannot do them in this new country and big city. I have lived here in Chicago for two years already, and I hope that step by step, I will familiarize myself with those changes, and things will become much better in the future.